Faith & Insight: Permission to forgive – granted

In a tension-filled room at his church, a little boy, surrounded by his parents and his pastor, was having a hard time finding the words he needed. Eventually, after a long period of silence, he began to try to explain himself.

“I used to pray every night for a bicycle,” the boy nervously said. “Then, I realized the Lord don't work like that, so I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.”

Out of the mouth of a babe in this fictitious parody comes a rationalization so many of us have made. “It is better to ask for forgiveness than ask for permission.” Cogitating over options, pros-cons, and risk-reward is a familiar pattern for some ahead of making unilateral decisions that usually require buy-in from others.

The risk comes down to a key word that is difficult for so many to grant – forgiveness. And while these familiar tongue-in-cheek quips attempt to humorously address the often precarious nature of decision making, seeking and granting forgiveness is no joke.

An April 19, 2019 study released by the Barna Group, one of the largest Christian polling groups in the world, showed that one out of four Christians struggle to forgive someone.

“Although most Christians recall a point at which they gave no-strings-attached forgiveness, some express reluctance in specific cases,” the study reported. “Around one in four practicing Christians (23%) has a person in their life who they just can’t forgive.”

In Luke 15, the parable of the prodigal son provides two perspectives on forgiveness. The parable chronicles the escapades of a young son who was granted his share of his father’s estate and went out and frittered it on wild living. Realizing the error of his ways, the young son sets out to return home and acknowledge his sin toward his father.

As he approached the horizon, his father saw him, “..and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him,” and then summoned his servants to “Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.” ( Luke 15:20, 22-24)

Conversely, the young son’s older brother, who remained with his father and worked faithfully for him, became angry over the feting of his younger brother. The father pleaded with his older son to receive his brother back, but he answered bitterly.

“Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!” (Luke 15:29-20)

The wisdom of the father in this parable, our father, then shared the essence of forgiveness in love. “My son,” the father said, “you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’” (Luke 15:31-32)

The two responses to the Prodigal Son’s return mimic the challenges we often face with granting forgiveness. Our sinful and selfish nature begs us to impose God’s law onto situations (e.g. the older son). However, the new covenant paid for by Jesus’ blood and righteous on the cross implores us to grant forgiveness (e.g. The Father).

So how, then, do we forgive? It can begin as simply as preparing a hardened heart to soften through prayer, and by seeking the power of the Holy Spirit to dwell and work in and through us. The Apostle Paul writes, “we all fall short of the glory of God,” (Romans 3:23), meaning we all make mistakes, and we need to love one another through difficult circumstances.

The heart of forgiveness is rooted in grace, both that which we seek when we fall short of God’s glory, and that which the Lord asks us to grant. “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32)

Brian Underwood is executive director of Sierra Lutheran High School.